This Heart
by blueskyhawk
Summary: Olivia and Emma have moved back into the farmhouse, but she and Natalia have yet to move past their unease of being together...alone. Just a fun fluff piece.


**Spoilers**: Takes place not long after the Friday April 24th episode in which Olivia and Natalia had an awkward moment saying goodnight to each other at Olivia's new place.

**Posting**: Only with the permission of the author.

**Author's Note**: No copywrite infringement on my part. Olivia, Natalia, Emma, Jodi, and Guiding Light are not mine, but I would be ok if Olivia and Natalia were.

**This Heart**

Olivia sat on the livingroom couch flipping through channels while listening to Natalia moving quickly around the kitchen preparing snacks. Things had been tense between her and Natalia since their declarations of love for each another, but both agreed they didn't want to lose the other. They both wanted a sense of normalcy of what they shared before, so it was decided that Olivia and Emma would move back into the farmhouse, and they all quickly went back to their old routines. Both would get Emma ready for school in the morning, Olivia would drop her off and pick her up, Natalia would make dinner in the evenings, and their Friday night movie nights also resumed. Tonight was Friday, but Emma wasn't home.

"Where did you say Emma went tonight?" Natalia yelled from the kitchen.

Putting the TV on mute, Olivia yelled back, "Her friend Jodi invited her for a sleepover."

"And Jodi's mother was ok with it?" she asked as she walked into the livingroom carrying a tray with a bowl of popcorn, two sodas, and a couple of candy bars on it.

Olivia pushed a few magazines and newspapers to the side of the coffee table to make room for the tray. "Yeah, I spoke with her mom this afternoon to make sure she was ok taking care of a couple of giggling little girls all night, and she assured me that she was prepared with plenty of video games and Disney movies. She also said she's going to make the girls waffles in the morning."

"That's awfully sweet of her" Natalia replied while opening her soda.

"It is, but I suspect it will be our turn to host the next time."

Natalia stopped for a moment, "I hadn't thought of that. You're probably right. Oh well, two little girls can't be that difficult to take care of for one night."

Olivia paused while lifting the soda to her lips and glanced at Natalia with an 'are you kidding' look on her face.

"Ok, maybe they'll be a bit of a handful." Olivia looked at her again with the same expression. "Ok, they'll be more than a little bit of a handful, but we'll survive." They both laughed, relieving a little bit of the tension they were both feeling.

They sat in awkward silence for several moments while Olivia picked up the remote and resumed channel surfing. Natalia sat still, trying not to fidget as she popped a few kernels of popcorn into her mouth. She wasn't hungry, but she was nervous.

She and Olivia were alone in the house together for the first time since they had told each other they were in love with one another. Olivia could tell by the stiffness of the woman sitting on the edge of the couch that she was worried about what might happen on this night. Natalia kept tugging at her shirt, smoothing it down as if it had kept creeping up despite the fact that she hadn't moved since she sat down. Olivia was debating on whether she should address the large elephant in the room, or let just it go and hope they would both relax. Its not as though she was planning on jumping Natalia, and she hoped the other woman wouldn't think that she would. The last thing she wanted to do is rush anything between them. Too many days, weeks even, she had pined for this woman. She was not going to scare her off before anything had a chance to begin.

"Natalia?" It was practically a whisper.

"Hmm?" The younger woman was staring straight ahead as if she were completely enwrapped in the show Olivia had landed on.

"Natalia, I think we should talk." She was quiet and gentle, and sat forward on the couch.

Natalia inhaled deeply and turned and looked into the deep hazel eyes that were fixed upon her. "I know."

Olivia paused before speaking. She wanted to choose her words just right, not rush them, but make sure her point was obvious. "I know you're nervous about us being alone together tonight, but you don't need to be." Natalia looked down at her hands for a brief moment filled with nerves for what the other woman was going to say. "We're going to take things slow, and whatever happens, happens." She wanted to reach out and touch Natalia's hand, but at the last minute she hesitated and the raven haired woman noticed this and decided to bridge the gap. Olivia gladly welcomed the contact. Their hands seemed to fit perfectly together, both so soft and warm.

Natalia let out an audible sigh that sounded as if she had been holding her breath since she had sat down. "I know how frustrating this is for you, and I really appreciate your patience with me and all of my, as you called it, baggage. You mean so much to me, and I really hope you don't get tired of waiting or hoping or..."

Olivia reached up and gently placed a finger on Natalia's lips to gently silence her. "Natalia." She moved her hand back on top of the one who held hers. "I love you, and that isn't just going to disappear. You were my friend first, and you're still my friend. The dearest and most important I've ever had. I want you in my life, whatever form that comes in. I will never push you, force you, or hurt you. Not willingly. You've changed my life, and you've shown me what a real family could be, even before I fell in love with you. That security, that warmth, that love. I don't ever want to lose that."

Tears began to fill Natalia's eyes, and she grasped the hand in hers tightly. "I feel the same way."

"Then let's stop being nervous and enjoy our Friday night movie night" Olivia said with a twinkle in her tear filled eyes.

Natalia breathed a sigh of relief, "Sounds like a great idea," and she leaned back into the couch next to the woman she loved with all of her heart.

They then began to banter like an old married couple trying to decide on what movie to watch. Both secretly wanted a romantic comedy, but internally they both knew it would make an already awkward situation worse. They were already exchanging shy smiles and secret looks at the other, watching a love story unfold might be too much pressure.

Natalia didn't realize how tired she was until halfway through the film and found she couldn't keep her head upright any longer. She glanced over at Olivia who seemed very taken with the drama they had chosen, so she tried to decide whether she should lean her head back on the couch or use the other woman's shoulder. After several moments of going back and forth with the pros and cons of either choice, she finally decided to make her move knowing Olivia wouldn't. Casually Natalia reached over and gently took Olivia's hand in hers. The older woman immediately looked over at Natalia, but didn't say anything. She gazed at the raven haired woman as she slowly lifted her own arm behind her head, then was pleasantly surprised when Natalia snuggled into her side while taking her other hand in hers. Relaxing into the closeness and Natalia gently stroking her hand with her thumb, Olivia leaned her head lightly on Natalia's and breathed in her perfume. It was softly floral and slightly sweet.

Natalia was nearly asleep when she whispered, "I think I was always meant to love this heart." Before Olivia could think of responding, she heard the deep breathing of her companion signaling she had fallen asleep. Sighing happily she just held onto Natalia and went back to watching the film with a contented smile on her face.

As the minutes went by, she could feel Natalia's body growing heavier next to hers. Eventually her head migrated from her shoulder down to her lap, and she watched as Natalia curled up like a cat on the couch next to her, never seeming to wake up. Olivia gently caressed her face, and ran her fingers through her hair loving every moment of this quiet closeness. She liked to believe that Natalia was aware of whose lap she was sleeping on, and whose fingers were touching her. She tried to push down any doubts that Natalia would be thinking it was anyone but her.

As the film ended Olivia had the tough decision of either waking up her sleeping beauty, or continue watching tv. Soon her drooping eyes made the decision for her. "Natalia?" She gently touched her love's shoulders trying to stir her awake. "Natalia" she increased her volume slightly in hopes she wouldn't startle her.

"Hmm?" The other woman started slowly waking up, but not moving.

"Sweetie, you fell asleep" Olivia whispered still softly rubbing Natalia's shoulder.

"Mmm hmm" the drowsy response came, yet still no movement.

"We should go to bed," Olivia quietly said as she turned the tv off.

Still out of it, Natalia mumbled "With each other?"

Olivia stifled a laugh knowing that if the other woman were more awake she would most likely not be asking this question, or would be embarrassed she had. "No, I mean we should each go to bed in our own rooms. You fell asleep and I'm nearly there."

"Where?" Olivia could feel a small smile forming on her lap.

"Ok, now I know you're faking" she laughed out loud this time after feeling a small giggle against her thigh.

"Ugh, I'm so tired, I don't want to move." She clutched Olivia's hand and tucked it under her chin eliciting a warm glow in both of them. Olivia was beginning to regret trying to move the other woman.

"I'd offer to carry you upstairs, but I don't think either of us would make it in one piece."

"Oh my goodness you're right, we'd never make it up. Wait, was that a fat joke?"

Olivia threw her head back and laughed, "It is now." She laughed again, then squeaked, "Ow!" Natalia had pinched her leg which prompted Olivia to gently slap her on the arm. "All right, get off my lap you big cow, my legs are asleep."

Natalia laughed as she sat upright and slapped Olivia as she dodged the blow. "Thanks a lot! I love you too." She continued to laugh, but slowly realized what she had just said and whom she had said it to. She looked up into the hazel eyes that were carefully watching her. "I love you, Olivia."

The other woman smiled sleepily, and gladly said back "I love you too."

They gazed at each other in contentment for a few moments until Olivia reluctantly broke the spell. "We really should go to bed, we promised Emma we would take her to the zoo tomorrow if she isn't too tired from the sleep over."

"We did?" Natalia looked confused since she didn't remember this conversation.

"Ok, I promised for both of us." She laughed nervously. "That is if you don't have any other plans." It was more of a question than a statement.

"No. No of course not. I would love to go with you and Emma to the zoo. It will be a lot of fun. We could talk to the lions, act like the monkeys..."

"Maybe its not such a good idea that you come along after all." Looking at the mock dejection on Natalia's face, Olivia let out a laugh. "Come on, that walk upstairs isn't getting any shorter by sitting here."

Both women slowly rose from their places on the couch agreeing that the popcorn and empty soda cans could wait until morning. They slowly made their way up the stairs to their perspective rooms, trying to make these last moments last a little bit longer. At the top of the stairs, and as if on cue, both women stopped in front of their rooms and looked at each other.

Olivia longingly gazed at Natalia down the hall, and said a quiet goodnight, but before she could walk into her room, the other woman called to her.

"Olivia?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you" it was nearly a whisper.

Olivia smiled, "For what?"

"For tonight. It was kind of like our first date" Natalia said shyly, as Olivia's smile broadened. "Although I don't usually fall asleep on my partner's lap, it was really nice."

Olivia smiled, "Are you saying I'm a boring date?"

Without skipping a beat, Natalia responded "Yes, yes that's exactly what I'm saying" then immediately laughed to show she was only kidding.

Olivia joined in on the laughter. "I guess I had that coming for earlier."

"Yes you did!" Natalia was still laughing. "But really, thank you. It was a good night." She thought for a moment then said, "Hey! Was the movie good?"

The older woman laughed, "I'll tell you about it in the morning over breakfast."

"Ok, sounds good." Natalia smiled sweetly to her companion. "Goodnight, Olivia. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight." She smiled softly as she watched her walk into her room. She then stepped inside her own, closed the door, and then leaned against it. "Sweet dreams, Natalia."

The end


End file.
